never satisfied

Life has got to get better ...

2008-03-01T22:56:00.000-08:00

this look says it all. i am still recuperating from the Flubug. My breather isnt breathing right and i cough all the time. i thought i was over it with the weather change, however today it got up to 80 degrees and i didnt even go out in the day. i opened the door up once and the 39 mph windgusts moved me backwards so i closed the door and spent the whole day in bed. I LOVE this kind of weather. in two days they are calling for SNOW again.

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, i am tired of snow.

and i miss my family. i miss my son and my daughter and family time and sitting at the table having dinner and just talking about whatever. o, how i wish my daughter would speak to me. she was my friend and now she's gone!

Click the Link Below

2008-02-23T22:13:00.000-08:00

18711 - Wood Desktop Organizer

i want one of these but in order to have one i would need a desk. in order to have a desk, i'd need a spot to put one. this house was not designed, built, nor bought with me in mind.

the 3 ways to Save ...

2008-02-21T21:38:00.000-08:00

1. Buy it Cheaper
2. Make it last Longer
3. Use it Less

*

how many $100 builds a house?

2008-02-21T20:40:00.000-08:00

5 Painless ways to Save $100 this Year

Purchase 10 articles of clothing at thrift shops and yard sales this year instead of paying department store prices.

Hang four loads of laundry per week instead of using your dryer.

Once a month make a pizza from scratch instead of having one delivered.

Reduce your soda consumption by four bottles a week.

Reduce your whole milk consumption by two gallons per week, substituting dry milk in cooking, homemade cocoa mix, and in half-and-half for drinking.

make it or break it

2008-02-14T02:00:00.000-08:00

Geeky Poetry

2008-02-14T01:39:00.000-08:00

me ~ Lost in an abyss

brought on by my flirtatious ways...

most thoughts in here

are northeast ~

however...

sometimes

the wind blows

in circles...

2008-02-14T01:33:00.000-08:00

i used this on my Sai blog @ yahoo as a background... it is everything ME...

i love me!!!

stolen from FastEasy

2008-02-13T22:48:00.000-08:00

set the mood with this candle color guide :

To ensure you set the right mood make sure to use the right candle color:
white: peace
red: passion
light blue: happiness
green: fertility
yellow: attraction
pink: love, friendship
orange: stimulation
purple: meditation

Becoming a vital part of Blog America

2008-02-13T14:50:00.000-08:00

this i believe for now will become my signature picture, until i can come up with my own signature!!!

i just joined the BloggersChoice Awards site so i can vote on all my favorites and who knows once i get the hang of what the heck i am doing maybe i can be nominated for something incredible too!!!

Self Revelations

2008-02-13T12:52:00.000-08:00

today is not really much different than yesterday, well as far as days go... but yesterday i went to the Liberal side of town for a counseling appointment. i've been in counseling since somewhere around July 23rd 2007. My appointment was @ 3pm. After talking with everyone who needed to be talked to and making future appointments through April, i left and went to JC Penneys to try on the latest in Spring Fashions. O my gosh! i have stopped going to the Ymca everyday and almost altogether and it really shows! i was admiring myself in the 3way mirrors and i was like so disgusted. the pounds which i had 3 months ago are the same but obviously the inches that i had lost have resurfaced and in some of the strangest places. i even have cellulite on my upper front thighs right where my panty lines would be. i rarely wear panties.!!! sorry just a side note!

i left there rather grouchy. so then i went to Catos. they had the new colors out but the clothes were just not me. then i went to a few other stores and knew that even if i found something i liked it wouldnt make any difference because i didnt have any money to spend on myself.

later, i went to the bookstore. it is a small bookstore but books nonetheless to soothe my fat little self. the only problem was that there were not any chairs in the book reading sections. there werent even any in the childrens area. that sux!

eventually my imagination kicked into overdrive and moved a chair from the front to the back and received a foot massage, read a book or two, had some decent conversation about nothing and some of everything and then finally decided to leave and go have dinner. NO, i am not Schizophrenic - i just have an awesome imagination.

dinner consisted of too thin yet superbly spicy salsa and homemade chips from a mexican food joint where i believe i have only ate there inside the state of Arkansas. the company was calm and little things didnt bother the mood.

the night ended with a Chocolate Frosty from Wendys and then i went home.

i'd kill for sunlight, uninterrupted quiet time, and a desk with comfy chair so i could belt out the best ever romance novel... O, wishful Thinking!!!

Sieze the Day, only in my dreams. when i start to seize some thing lately, its as if if it doesnt really exist. but then that could be because i live inside a fairyTale.

i have grown a lot lately. for the past 2 years, roughly, i 've been living with a guy who has a form of Autism. it is referred to as Aspergers and it makes for not happy couple time. dont get me wrong, it hasn't been all bad, but i can assure 189% it hasn't been all good. in the beginning i was suffering from a broken marriage full of domestic violence, abuse of many forms, and a man who lived a quiet life of the saint and the pedophile. i am not going into detail here, now... but i finally got the balls to leave him and did so on September 17th 2006. i have been through counseling as i have said and i have been dealing with the grieving process of a broken domestic abused marriage of 7 years. i have lost my self esteem, self confidence, will to live, and my ability to write. it has made me become very cynical to Everything and Jaded to everything Else.

and this quote above is so "ME"... i have always defined myself as a noncomformist. the girl who is impulsive by nature, liberal by needing to remain politically correct, spontaneous from needing to be different not stale, and indecisive because i am simply never sure of my conflicting self.

and then this morning, well really it was this afternoon, i decided to particpate in something in which i have participated in before and i realized that i NO LONGER enjoy the sport (so to speak)... i am becoming closer to moving on with my life. i like this feeling of learning to live Whole and Well again!!!

i Clean Up, nicely ...

2008-02-10T21:19:00.000-08:00

the first thing i think should happen after a good bout of drinking is a bath. a bath to rid you of the toxins inside your body and a bath to just relax in for more than 30 minutes... ya know the amount of time which helps yourself become all pruney looking...

but, a perfect bath is not perfect unless you take it with someone else. i have learned that if you do not have everything you need in order to live the good life then you are living the wrong life!

the Most Wonderful time 2 drink Beer

2008-02-10T20:48:00.000-08:00

okay, so i am not really an experienced drinker but i do have experience drinking. my favorites are mostly something frozen, sweet, and in a really big glass. however, i have been known to down a simple Margarita on the rocks and one time in an OLDER (when i was a few years younger) October I drank from the Rainbow... yes, i simply ordered the drinks strictly by the Color of the Liquid. Thank my lucky heavens I had a driver for my Chariot. Since i am a diabetic the thing i remember the most is the sex which followed and a day later i remembered the sex which followed because i had a matching pair of bite mark bruises on each butt cheek... I do love the Rainbow...!!!

as a young teenager i never drank, i really was a good girl. i begin my drinking binge just within the last 2 years. i have suffered through a god-awful marriage and a daughter who has decided to go astray. my son is still kicking in my old hometown but they are both roughly 700 miles from where i now live. i am insanely homesick and i miss my children. i dont have any friends here other than the ones who came with the boyfriend... i am mostly slightly depressed and the buzz which comes from the alcohol has done it's best to keep me above water, no pun intended...

this above picture reminds me of my mother. @ Christmas time she was always designated as the "best Martini maker"... i am sure she probably let me and my sister have a drink of her concocotions but i dont remember if i enjoyed it... So i guess, i am making up for Lost Memories...

aaaaahhhh !! the Blue Martini - i have decided that when i get married again which most likely will be in the year 2009 (not that i have been asked) but it's just a case of wishful thinking and i want to wear a dress the color of anything Alcohol Blue... odd, i know!!! but it's what i want...

one of my Favorites

2008-02-10T20:41:00.000-08:00

aaaaaaahhhhhhh !!!

the ultimate blogger before her time.

I LOVE LUCY ...

a Step above Nothing

2008-02-10T20:23:00.000-08:00

in a nostalgic way this little cabin outside the woods appeals to me as a must have... i could live there even though i hate the cold and i am afraid of critters and other things that go bump in the night. but i believe that i really could live here with the right person (to protect me from the boogers) even without internet.

i know!!! i can't believe i just said it either?

2008-02-04T00:16:00.000-08:00

i dont know if it is the 3 tier effect, the colors of the candles, the size of the candles or the thought of them being inside a closed and clean yet friendly environment.

tastes like Kiwi - they Say

2008-02-03T13:11:00.000-08:00

Avocado Pie

1 (9-inch) prepared Graham Cracker Pie Crust*
1/4 cup fresh lime j uice
1/4 cup fresh lemon j uice
1 envelope unflavored g elatin
3 medium-size very ripe Hass a vocados**
1 (14 ounce) can sweetened condensed milk
1/2 cup heavy cream
1/2 cup sour cream

* Check out my Graham Cracker Pie Crust Recipe.

** If an avocado is ripe, it will yield to a gentle pressure.

Refrigerate graham cracker crust until well chilled.

In a small bowl, combine lime juice, lemon juice, and unflavored gelatin; let stand 4 to 5 minutes or until softened.
In a large bowl or the food processor, combine gelatin mixture, avocados, and sweetened condensed milk. Pour mixture into prepared graham cracker pie crust. Refrigerate at least 2 hours or until the filling is firm. In a small bowl, whip heavy cream and sour cream together until stiff peaks form. Serve pie topped with prepared whipped cream mixture.
Makes 8 servings.

i have read that most add 8oz of cream cheese ... i will most likely try it both ways!

this will B my next Treat 2 Tackle

2008-02-03T12:57:00.000-08:00

New Orleans Bread Pudding with Bourbon Sauce

1 large loaf French bread

4 cups milk

3 e ggs, lightly beaten

2 cups s ugar

2 tablespoons vanilla extract

1/4 teaspoon allspice

1/4 to 1/2 teaspoon cinnamon

1 cup raisins

3 tablespoons butter, melted

Tear or cut French bread into 1-inch pieces (about 6 to 7 cups); place in a large bowl. Add milk and let bread pieces soak; crush with your hands until well mixed. In another bowl, whisk together eggs, sugar, vanilla extract, allspice, and cinnamon until smooth; stir in raisins. Stir into the bread/milk mixture. Let the mixture sit for 2 hours, stirring occasionally.

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. When ready to bake, pour melted butter into a 13x9-inch baking pan or dish. Coat the bottom and the sides of the pan well with the butter. Pour bread pudding mixture into prepared pan or dish. Bake, uncovered, approximately 45 to 50 minutes, until set in the center, and the edges start getting a bit brown and pull away from the edge of the pan. Remove from oven and let cool on a wire rack.
To serve, cut into squares and put into individual serving dishes. Serve with warm Bourbon Sauce. NOTE: Best fresh and eaten the day it is made.
Makes 8 to 10 servings.

i will Persevere ... damn it...

2008-02-03T12:41:00.000-08:00

BUTTERMILK PIE (not mine)

i made one at Thanksgiving and i did it with Splenda (bad idea) unless u really r a severe brittle diabetic...

so i made another one yesterday. i followed the recipe exactly.. .. and well, It tastes great but it is more of a buttermilk thick pudding opposed to a Pie consistency!

i am a Mom & a Grandmom

2008-01-31T19:23:00.000-08:00

this little fellow above looks like a Maddox... however, his name is Hunter... he is my Grandson.

this pic of Hunter looks like his dad... i do not like his dad... no love loss, because his dad doesn't like me either...

this is a pic of my daughter @ like fullTerm pregnancy... i do like her, but right now she doesn't like me - we haven't talked since November 22, 2007 = this was the day after she had Hunter... i was not invited to the birth and have never seen Hunter other than pictures...

this pic is of my son and his newly shaven bald head... my son is on the left... his friend Mike is on the right, this was Mike's idea... that damn mexican...

the Farmboy who takes Initiative

2008-01-31T19:09:00.000-08:00

this is what i want out of life - and not everyday but an occasional day would suffice. a handsome bear of a man to bring me breakfast in bed. i'd even accept the red rose. i prefer any color to red. Red seems too easy for me. anybody can get red roses. it takes a more special person to find different colors and present them to you.

trying to Beat Diabetes

2008-01-31T19:00:00.000-08:00

another thing that i am not sure is in the cards for me, is a better body. i try and then i get frustrated and i stop. right now i am harboring a bad attitude towards the local YMCA from a fitness program i entered with them two months ago. i lost more inches than pounds and the exercise was not that complicated. but the lack of professionalism through the organization passed down to us fat people sucked. i never found out who won the program and what their beginning and end progresses were... i voiced my opinions and so did a few others but nothing ever came of it. i am going again for this 9 weeks with my partner from the previous go-round but my heart is not in it and my bad attitude tends to shine through... and to top it all off, swimming is my favorite exercise but the Y has closed the pool between 12-3pm and some weird time at night... HELLO???

Marriage vs. Living Together

2008-01-31T18:54:00.000-08:00

i like to try to believe that one sweet day will come again and i will want to get married. but right now, after so much has transpired with my x=abusive relationship and my distrust in the world, i sometimes dont know if that is in the cards for me.

Another Life missed out...

2008-01-31T02:01:00.000-08:00

i think i missed my calling in life. i really do believe i either passed the man of my dreams by or just took the wrong path. but i know there was a farmboy somewhere that was supposed to be the center of my life. then all these boots could have belonged to: Daisy, Dixie, Hope, and Faith.

Must Love Quiet Time

2008-01-31T01:50:00.000-08:00

this lone mode of relaxation defines the Loner self inside my soul. however, the color should be either or blue or lime green!

Lost without a Compass

2008-01-31T01:28:00.000-08:00

under the circumstances this seemed like the most appropriate picture to begin my picture obssession blog with...

am a Survivor

2008-01-31T00:48:00.000-08:00

I am a
Violet

What Flower
Are You?